My Instagram Shadowban Experience

Recently, I was in a bit of a growth period on Instagram. Things were flowing along smoothly until 2 weeks ago when they suddenly came to a halt.

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Lensbaby's New Soft Focus II

In February of 2021, I challenged myself to shoot my self-portraiture for 30-days using only Lensbaby lenses and optics. Self-portraiture can prove intimidating, and adding a creative manual focus lens into the mix can feel like a formidable feat. These lenses and optics soon proved to be the missing pieces to bringing my visions to life. Over a year later, I'm still shooting my work primarily with Lensbaby gear, and I haven't looked back.

Lensbaby Soft Focus II | ISO | 160 | 1/250 | Sony a7rIII

Recently, I had the opportunity to be a beta tester for a new optic, The Soft Focus II, by Lensbaby. The Soft Focus II optic fits into my Composer Pro II and judging by my results, it will stay there for a long time to come. This new optic has significant potential in aiding me in my future work.

Lensbaby Soft Focus II | ISO | 320 | 1/250 | Sony a7rIII

My first impression was that it gave a similar feel to my Velvet 56 when I shot between f/2.8 and f/2.5. There was a familiar smoothness and a glow reminiscent of the Velvet line, but I felt the glow was more substantial than the Velvets upon deeper inspection.

Lensbaby Soft Focus II | ISO | 320 | 1/250 | Sony a7rIII

I usually shoot fairly wide as a self-portrait artist, only stopping down to f/2.8 at most. When I began testing the Soft Focus II, I shot at f/2.5 - f/2.8. The softness, blur, and luminous glow immediately brought me into that dreamworld atmosphere I am drawn to so deeply. I then decided to try out f/4 and was pleasantly surprised with my results.

Lensbaby Soft Focus II | ISO | 160 | 1/800 | F/4 | Sony a7rIII

There was a level of detail and structure brought out in the image, yet it still had a smoothness and softness to it. I usually use three editing software programs for my black and white images. When shooting at f/4, I achieved the same qualities as I typically do in my second editing program. It could essentially allow me to skip a step in my editing process.

Lensbaby Soft Focus II | ISO | 160 | 1/800 | Sony a7rIII

I want my art to give the viewer the feeling of looking through an old vintage book of fairytales. I'm not looking for sharp, precise details, and I like the imagination to come into play. I want the viewer whisked away into another world and time. The process of creating is of vital importance to me. Similar results may be possible in post-processing, but I want to spend as much time in the creative moment as possible. I want to look through my viewfinder and already begin to feel I'm there in that far away land. I want to see the results on the back of my camera and feel the excitement of knowing I was able to achieve my vision. Lensbaby's products help make all of this possible for me.

Lensbaby Soft Focus II | ISO | 320 | 1/120 | Sony a7rIII

I am looking forward to the Spring and Summer months when the foliage begins to fill in the empty gaps, and I can test out the magnetic drop-in aperture disks as a new way to bring more wonder and enchantment into my imagery. The Soft Focus II optic will now be on my camera until further notice!

*I am proud to be both a Lensbaby Ambassador and Click Pro Ambassador. If you should have any questions at all please reach out to me!

Creating Self-Portraits Using a Long Exposure

In 2016, I found myself in the throes of an identity crisis. Self-portraiture was a tool I began using as a form of healing and self-expression during this difficult time. I was looking for ways to express myself in a way that was unique to me. Through much experimentation, I introduced long exposures into my self-portraiture work. Feeling invisible, I created my "See Me" project as a way to be seen essentially. "See Me" is an ongoing project where I continue to make these past and present stories and versions of myself.

Creating these long exposures became an integral part of my healing process. I developed this relationship with time and these in-between moments. Knowing that my thoughts, feelings, breath, heartbeat, movement, and life were captured in an image intrigued me. I was drawn to this in-between space where I could reveal pieces of my personal story that felt just as haunted as I did. I was able to step outside of myself and witness myself with fresh eyes. As the exposure time lengthened, I discovered I could create an image with two versions of me; much like the results that a double exposure could produce. This allowed me to see myself as another person and give her the love and forgiveness she longed for. In the end, this project has been an aid in the practice of self-love and self-discovery.

The below image is the newest edition to the series. This is a self-portrait I took in my backyard using a 10-second shutter speed and my Lensbaby Velvet 56.

Sony a7riii | Velvet 56 | f/16 | ISO 50 | SS 10s

Sony a7riii | Velvet 56 | f/16 | ISO 50 | SS 10s

You can view the series here on my website under ‘Projects’ or in the July/August 2021 issue of Shadow & Light Magazine, The Surreal Issue.

If you’re a member of the Click Community, I have a tutorial explaining my process for this. If you have any questions about my process, let me know!